cOoLEr sHAkeR

The clock is ticking and I can
feel myself edging closer towards self destruction. I can totally relate to
Bette that the closer she is to someone, the more destructive she’ll get. It’s
true, I find it easier to blow the fuse on someone that you’re closer to
compared to a “hi and bye” friend. Is it because you feel like that you’re
compelled to behave properly in front of people that you’re so close to in
order to give them a better impression of your self?  I’m well known for my short fuse and bad
temper since I couldn’t remember when but this only applies to those who are
close to me. I’ve never blown a fuse in front of the people I’ve yet to know
better but I’m sorry to say that I’ve crashed and burned a lot of times in
front of the ones I love dearly. Anger management is what I need now but the
more I think about it, the angrier I become. I know that I get mad easily but
please don’t make me feel guilty for being mad; I believe that I do have the
rights to get mad and its times like this that I burn like a forest fire raging
uncontrollably, burning everything that comes in its path. I may get mad easily
but I’ve never taken it out on anybody or anything, I just need some quiet time
alone. When I’ve come to my senses, I’ll be alright and everything will be fine.
Just don’t come around bugging me and telling me that you’re sorry for this and
that and apologize. At this point of time, my mind is focused on anger and
anger alone. In order to prevent an outburst of fury, never ever come and try
to comfort me. I hate it when people do that to me and I hate myself for being
so short tempered. For all of those people out there who I’ve blew my fuse at,
I’m sorry for being ignorant and I’ll try my very best to control my anger.