cOoLEr sHAkeR

This will the last blog for the month as I’ll be travelling back to UKM tomorrow morning at 8.30am. Been going online 24/7 and playing ps for the entire week since I got back. Maybe it’s better for me to go back to my Alma Mater since there’s too much obstructions back at home that seems to be hindering me from staying focus in my studies.

Okie, I’ve lost something that I never had which seems pretty stupid in a sense that everyone says that you can never lose something you never had!!! Well, I beg to differ, because I’ve just went through that situation. The thing that I lost means a lot to me and having it will only guarantee me pure happiness. Well, what have I lost??? The answer is LOVE, yes it’s L.O.V.E.How do you lose is when you don’t even have it? Well, it’s pretty simple in a sense that you like a person who never knew you exist. Hahaha!!!

Anyway it’s not like I lost my family and friends. Praise the Lord for that!!! Losing something you wish you had is pretty wicked as you’re mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted from all the dreadful sleepless nights. It’s also financally consuming as I’ve been smsing my friend (a very special and dear friend of mine, you know who you are) to unburden my sorrows to. Wakakaka!!! Thanks dear, I really appreciate you for being there for me in spirit and mind!!!

Tomorrow I’ll be back in UKM and sadly, there won’t be any internet connection in my dorm so I can’t go online!!! Life’s pretty miserable when you don’t get to go online. This only applies to those internet junkies like me!!! Nevertheless, it’s good for me that I don’t get to go online thus giving me more time to focus on my studies. Giving in to temptations is one of my many weaknesses . Tisk tisk tisk!!!

I’m currently back in the comfort of my home and I’m not in the mood to study for my finals yet so I went and shoot some hoops in my so-called  mini indoor basketball court. I’ve been practicing my shooting and dribbling skills and after 10 minutes of practice I was dead tired. My stamina was terrible and I felt it deteriorating rapidly and to make things worse, I nearly twisted my leg AGAIN!!!

Back in my school days, I used to be hyperactive in any sort of sports programs organized by my school. I’ve represented my school in trek events like 100m sprint, 200m, 1 x 400m, 4×400 and also 400m hurdles, netball and softball. I’ve also represented my Taekwondo club in the pattern competition in KL. Sports were my passion and I gave up a lot of my time and money on fulfilling my dreams of becoming a respectable athletic but due to an unwanted accident, my life turned drastically. I used to be a sports freak but now, I’m just a non-competitive person. It’s typical for athletics to get injured every now and then. I’ve twisted my foot a couple of times and I even broke my hand once when I fell during taekwondo practice but those wounds are already healed.

The one particular incident that I’ll remember for the rest of my life happened back in the year 2002. I twisted my leg badly and now I’m still suffering from the side effects of a busted kneecap. Everything seems pretty blur to me at first but when I felt the excruciating pain in my kneecap, I saw flashbacks that led to my fall. I remembered myself leaping high in the air for the rebound ball and I fell down hard on my right leg. I felt the pressure mounting up in my kneecap and the next thing I remember vividly was the sound of my bones cracking. As I laid on the ground in excruciating pain, the only thought that went thru my mind was, "Oh My God I broke my leg! I’ll never be able to compete in any sports events for the rest of my life!"

Even now, I’m still suffering from the side effects even though my knee has recovered. Going down the stairs and jumping down from slightly higher grounds will cause my knee to go weary like a jelly on a plate being shaken. Thank God that He’s been merciful on me and He spared my leg but since that accident, I’ve never participated in any sports competitions. BUMMER!!! The feeling of losing your passion towards something is indescribable and it hurts badly deep down inside. Everytime I see other people competing in any sport events, I’ll have a tremendous urge of joining them but, I never did because I know my own limits. With that said, I believe that limitation in life drags us down into the valley of shadows and death!!!

To lose something very dear and precious seems to be the worse thing that could happen in someone’s life. I’ve lost something dear too, recently due to my clumsiness and bad stewardship; I lost my dear camera at the bowling alley in The Mines. The camera was my price possession which caused me RM1400; it was also my companion and friend. When I found out that I’ve lost it, my head just went blank and the first thought that came to my mind was how was I going to tell my mom that I’d lost it.

The fear within me was indescribable and when fear prevails and takes control of my mind, the devil within me has clearly won the battle and I had succumb to the dark side. The only thing that went through my mind was I was going to be yelled and scolded for my carelessness. When things seem to be out of hand, people tend to walk off alone. That’s what I did when I knew that there was no way that I could ever get my camera back. I wanted to be alone and free from all sort of thoughts.

With every agonizing moments passing by, I can’t seem to get my mind off my camera. The next day my mom called and I told her that I lost my camera. She did scolded me for a couple of minutes and she told me that "Money doesn’t grow on trees you know" but that was the end. I told my care group leader what my mom told me and she said that my mom misses me badly and thus all the misery within my mom has won the battle against her anger towards my irresponsibility. Therefore, after consulting my mom, I felt relieved but my worries is now about my dad finding out that I lost it. He knew specifically I own a Panasonic Lumix Digital Camera that’s worth more than a thousand dollars and if he finds out about it, I’m really going to be in deep trouble!!!